Q: What do you call a cow with no legs?
 

A:  Ground beef!

Q: What do you call a rusty bird?
 

A:  A dirty bird!

Q:  What do you call a cow that eats grass?
 

A: A lawn mooooower!

Q: What do you get if you cross a centipede with a parrot?
 

A: A walkie-talkie!

Q:  What did the bug say to the other bug?
 

A:  Get out of here, you're bugging me!

Q: Why did the cow go to the movies?
 

A: To watch a cow show!

Q: Which clown has the biggest shoes?
 

A:  The one with the biggest feet!

Q: What do snakes give their moms for Mother's Day?
 

A:  Hugs and Hisses!

Q:  Why do lions roar?
 

A:  They would feel ridiculous saying, "Oink, oink!"
 

Q:  Why did Jeff cross the road?
 

A:  To get to the magic store!

Q:  Why did the cow cross the road?
 

A:  To go to the milk pond!

Q:  Why did the chicken cross the road and the cow
       stay home?
 

A:  Because the cow had a day off!

Q:  How did the gum get across the road?
 

A:  It got stuck on the deer's foot!

Q:  Why did the deer cross the road?
 

A:  To get the carrot!

Q:   Why did the turtle cross the road?
 

A:  To get to the Shell station!

Q:  Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
 

A:  Because he had no guts!

Q:  Why did Kim go across the road?
 

A:  Because she wanted to go to her house!

Q:  Why did the handle come off the door?
 

A:  Because someone broke it!

Q:  Why didn't the rooster cross the road?
 

A:  He was too chicken!

Q:  Why did the chicken cross the playground?
 

A:  To get to the other side!

Q:   Why do hummingbirds hum?
 

A:  Because they don't know the words!

Q:   What time is it when a elephant sits on the fence?
 

A:  Time to fix that fence!

Q:  How do you blow out your candles?
 

 A: With birthday man!

Q:  What do you call a vampire's dog?
 

A: A bloodhound!

Q:  What do you get when you cross a parrot with a pig?
 

A: One bird that hogs the conversation!

Q:  What did the vacuum cleaner say to the broom?
 

A:  "Don't you wish people would stop pushing us around?"